Coaching That Actually Moves People
You can’t coach someone you don’t understand.
You can try. You can give them advice, share a podcast, or book the 1:1. But if your feedback doesn’t speak to the part of them that matters, it won’t stick.
That’s why we lean on the Enneagram at Allen Leigh. Not because it’s trendy, but because it helps us see what’s underneath the behaviour.
And that’s where coaching lives.
Real Coaching Speaks to Motivation, Not Just Performance
Here’s what I’ve learned leading teams and working with senior leaders for over 20 years: Everyone says they want feedback. What they really want is to feel understood.
And once they feel understood? That’s when they actually grow.
The Enneagram gives us a language for that kind of coaching. One that’s customized, not cookie-cutter. Compassionate, not coddling. Practical, not pop-psych.
Here’s how to use it.
Coaching, Type by Type
Let’s say you’re working with someone on your team who’s stuck. They’re bright. They care. But something’s not landing.
Instead of doubling down on advice, try shifting your angle. Use this lens:
🔵 Type 1 – The Strict Perfectionist
Wants to be good. Struggles when things (or people) fall short. Your move: Encourage grace—for themselves and others. “What’s one thing you could let be 90% this week?”
🟠 Type 2 – The Considerate Helper
Wants to feel needed. Struggles to ask for what they need. Your move: Coach them toward boundaries. “What’s something you’re carrying that’s not actually yours?”
🔴 Type 3 – The Competitive Achiever
Wants to win. Struggles to slow down. Your move: Help them protect their energy, not just chase outcomes. “What’s one thing you’re doing that looks productive, but isn’t actually necessary?”
🟣 Type 4 – The Intense Creative
Wants to feel authentic. Struggles with self-comparison and inertia. Your move: Coach them into clarity and forward movement. “What’s one step forward that doesn’t need to be perfect or profound?”
🔵 Type 5 – The Quiet Specialist
Wants to understand. Struggles with overthinking and isolation. Your move: Invite them to bring their thinking into action. “What would it look like to act before you feel fully ready?”
🟢 Type 6 – The Loyal Sceptic
Wants to feel safe. Struggles with over-preparing or second-guessing. Your move: Help them trust their voice in the moment. “Where could you move forward with 80% certainty?”
🟣 Type 7 – The Enthusiastic Visionary
Wants to experience everything. Struggles with commitment and boredom. Your move: Anchor their energy in something long-term. “What’s a good idea you’ve had that’s actually worth building?”
🔺 Type 8 – The Active Controller
Wants to stay strong. Struggles with softening. Your move: Challenge them—without threatening their independence. “Where might power come from restraint, not reaction?”
🔷 Type 9 – The Adaptive Peacemaker
Wants to keep the peace. Struggles to take up space. Your move: Call them into action—gently, but clearly. “What’s one decision you know you need to make—without asking for consensus?”
What Happens When You Coach This Way?
People feel seen. They open up. They take ownership of their growth—not because they were told to, but because something clicked.
This is how we build momentum within teams. Not by managing behaviour, but by unlocking motivation.
Take This Into Your Week
Pick one person on your team. Use the above as a coaching lens. Frame it in your own language, but speak to what’s beneath the surface.
The next time you’re tempted to ask, “Why aren’t they listening?” Try asking, “What are they really needing?”
That shift—from pushing to partnering—is what builds trust. And trust builds teams that last.